早年生活

柴可夫斯基出生于儒略历的1840年4月25日或者格里历的5月7日，在沃特金斯克，一个现在乌德穆尔特共和国的小镇子。他的父亲是Ilya Petrovich Tchaikovsky，一位官办矿厂的采矿工程师，母亲是父亲的3任妻子的第二任，叫Alexandra Andreyevna Assier，一位法裔俄罗斯人。他是歌剧作家，舞剧作家，翻译家Modest Ilyich Tchaikovsky的兄长（大了几十年）。

柴可夫斯基从5岁开始学钢琴，几个月以后，就能熟练演奏Friedrich Kalkbrenner的作品Le Fo'。在1850年，他的父亲被任命为圣彼德堡国立大学校长。于是，年轻的柴可夫斯基接受了非常好的基础教育，并且在音乐系主任的指导下，继续钢琴的学习。

与此同时，柴可夫斯基和意大利大师Luigi Piccioli相识，后者使他的兴趣从德国音乐，转向了吉奥阿基诺·罗西尼，文琴佐·贝利尼，葛塔诺·多尼采蒂。柴可夫斯基的父亲放纵了儿子对音乐的喜爱，他资助了儿子师从一位从纽伦堡来的知名钢琴老师Rudolph Kündinger。在这位老师的指导下，柴可夫斯基恢复了对德国音乐的兴趣，并且持续一生的对莫扎特音乐的喜爱也在开始在心中萌芽。当柴可夫斯基的母亲于1854年死于霍乱后，14岁的他作了一首圆舞曲来纪念母亲。

柴可夫斯基于1858年离开学校然后进入司法部做部长秘书，不久他就加入了司法部的合唱团。

Tchaikovsky left school in 1858 and received employment as an under-secretary in the Ministry of Justice, where he soon joined the Ministry's choral group. In 1861, he befriended a fellow civil servant who had studied with Nikolai Zaremba, who urged him to resign his position and pursue his studies further. Not ready to give up employment, Tchaikovsky agreed to begin lessons in musical theory with Zaremba.

The following year, when Zaremba joined the faculty of the new St Petersburg Conservatory, Tchaikovsky followed his teacher and enrolled, but still did not give up his post at the ministry, until his father consented to support him. From 1862 to 1865, Tchaikovsky studied harmony, counterpoint and the fugue with Zaremba, and instrumentation and composition under the director and founder of the Conservatory, Anton Rubinstein, who was both impressed by and envious of Tchaikovsky's talent.

音乐生涯

柴可夫斯基自学校毕业之後，安东·鲁宾斯坦的弟弟，莫斯科音乐学院的和声学教授尼古莱·鲁宾斯坦聘请他做音乐史的教师。当时的柴可夫斯基父亲已经退休，经济上颇为拮据，因此欣然接受教职，接下来的十年都全心投入教学和创作。教书的待遇不特别好，仅能餬口而已，但柴可夫斯基从事这份工作能够有很充裕的时间创作，所以在从事教职的第一年就完成了第一号交响曲「冬之梦」，但听众反应不佳。没多久，他就因为压力太大又过度工作，在1877年时精神崩溃离开学校。休了一年假後，他尝试回到学校继续教书，但是没多久就放弃，决定退休。在瑞士休养一阵子之後，便搬到基辅与妹妹同住。

1868年开始，柴可夫斯基与俄国国民乐派的成员逐渐走得很近。1869年在巴拉基列夫建议之後，便写了有名的管弦乐序曲《罗蜜欧与茱丽叶幻想序曲》。但於此後，柴可夫斯基的作曲风格越来越偏向西欧风，而逐渐与强调民族素材及风格的国民乐派渐行渐远。

有一次，柴可夫斯基在莫斯科临阵上场替代指挥他自己的歌剧「女妖」（Enchantress，俄文原文Чародейка，1885年7月），之後便开始常态性的从事指挥工作。克服与生俱来的舞台恐惧症之後，他逐渐开始习惯在舞台上指挥自己的创作，并常在欧洲各地巡回演出，结识不少当时的音乐家。

1891年，柴可夫斯基受邀至美国指挥自己的作品，当年的五月五日，他在卡内基大厅的开幕仪式中指挥纽约音乐协会交响乐团演出。美国一行中，他也演出着名的第一号钢琴协奏曲以及弦乐小乐曲。这首堪称柴可夫斯基最有名的降b小调钢琴协奏曲，1874年完成之初受到前同事尼可莱的恶评，也因此一直束之高阁迟迟未演，未料在美国首演却一炮而红，从此成为柴可夫斯基的招牌。

1893年，在首演第六号交响曲「悲怆」九天後，柴可夫斯机死於圣彼得堡街上的家中。有些音乐学家（如Milton Cross及David Ewen）认为，柴可夫斯基对於死亡早有觉悟，而第六号交响曲正是他写给自己的安魂曲。第一主题之後紧接着快速的弦乐变化旋律以及强而有力的和声，随後出现的常号旋律和前後的旋律都没有关连，此种突兀插入的乐段（non sequitur），一般认为是俄罗斯天主教死者弥撒典型的曲式。

个人生活

一场灾难性的婚姻

柴可夫斯基同性恋的倾向很早就为人所知。尽管证据都在苏俄时期被消灭殆尽，但他的性向对於自身的生活以及作品影响甚钜是无庸置疑的。有些历史学家仍认为他是异性恋，但是大部分学者根据他的仆人苏佛努夫（Aleksei Sofronov）以及外甥大卫朵夫（Vladimir "Bob" Davydov）的证词，相信他最亲密的伴侣都是同性。其他的证据大多可见於书信、日记及其弟马戴斯特（Modest，亦是同性恋）的信件中。

在法学院的学生时期，柴可夫斯基曾经暗恋过法国女歌手狄希耶·雅朵（Désirée Art?t）但在女方结婚之後，这段感情无疾而终。在他於莫斯科音乐院教书时，一名偏执的女学生安东妮雅·米露可娃（Antonina Miliukova）以大量情书攻势疯狂倒追他，扬言非他不嫁，甚至以死要胁。其实柴可夫斯基根本不记得自己班上有这个学生，但是女学生相当坚持，不断持续写信。当时柴可夫斯基迷上普希金（Pushkin）的诗作「尤金·奥尼金」（Eugene Onegin），正打算改编成歌剧。由於诗作中的主角尤金年轻时拒绝了塔琪安娜以致後来终生活在悔恨当中，入戏太深的柴可夫斯基将自己想成尤金，认为自己不应回绝这段感情。两人於1877年7月18日结婚。

蜜月还没结束，柴可夫斯基就後悔了，在两人於7月26日回到莫斯科时，他已经濒临崩溃。周遭的朋友们都看得出来他的状况很不好，但是没有人知道严重性。婚後两周，他企图在冰冷的莫斯科河中自杀，但是随後却因为受不住寒冷而放弃，也因此染上严重的肺炎。精神上完全崩溃的柴可夫斯基逃到圣彼得堡。

他的哥哥安纳托利（Anatoly）到圣彼得堡火车站接他时，几乎认不出面前那个一脸憔悴、濒临崩溃的病弱男子就是自己的弟弟。安纳托利火速将他送到邻近的旅馆，发作了一阵之後，柴可夫斯基昏迷了整整两天。这期间他到底做了什麽、说了什麽，除了安纳托利之外大概就只有精神医师知道。医师建议柴可夫斯基彻底改变生活形态，要他不要想要尝试改善自己的婚姻，也不要再见新婚妻子。自此之後，柴可夫斯基再也没有见过安东妮雅，但会定期寄生活费给她，到死为止两人的婚姻关系都还保持着。

此後的几年，柴可夫斯基很害怕安东妮雅会将他们两人分开的内幕公诸於世。安纳托利试着说服她去办理离婚，安东妮雅却不肯离婚，也不愿配合对外宣称两人婚姻破裂的理由是因为柴可夫斯基有外遇。出版商尤尔金森（Pyotr I. Jürgenson）费尽唇舌为柴可夫斯基争取离婚机会却始终未果，却在1880年的夏天发现安东妮雅另结新欢已有半年，还生了孩子，都被丢到孤儿院。安东妮雅在1896年被诊断出有精神病，并於1917年病逝。

至於柴可夫斯基，他并不将自己的精神崩溃归咎於安东妮雅，而相信那是命定的悲剧，是对於他为了结婚而结婚的惩罚。尽管结婚的经验像是一场梦魇，身为同性恋的柴可夫斯基对於婚姻的憧憬却从未消减。当安纳托利订婚时，柴可夫斯基写了一封感人的信给他，信中提到「有时候我真的很希望能够被一个女人温柔的触摸与疼爱。我常幻想被一个慈爱的女人所拥抱，我能够躺在他的腿上亲吻着她...」後世的学者认为柴可夫斯基对於妻子的观念其实是错误的，只是想藉由婚姻来取回早逝的母亲罢了。

一个及时的女恩人

一个对老柴更有影响的是一位有钱的寡妇，名叫Nadezhda von Meck。她和柴科夫斯基於1877至1890年间互通的信件达1,200封。在她的坚持下两人从未见面。但在机缘巧合下他们在两个不同场合下偶然地碰上，不过他们没有交谈。她不但提供了一年6000卢布的赞助，亦表达了对柴的音乐事业的关注及其音乐的赞赏。可惜的是这段关系於13年後结束了，原因是她自称破了产。

有人认为她停止资助的原因是因为她发现了柴的同性恋身分，而不是因为破产。不过，她的二女Alexandra（她意外地以文字把她的父亲吓死—她写了一封信告诉父亲说姊妹Milochka并不是他的亲生女儿）在母亲开始资助柴的时候，已经告诉了她柴是同性恋，所以Von Meck应不会因此而停止资助。Von Meck聪明地及极度勤奋地发掘有关柴的一切。有说她对柴一生的感情生活中并不会有女性的存在感到满意。

据说柴被她的突然终止赞助大受打击，更一路消沉。终其一生他亦未能了解Von Mech终止赞助的原因。他所不知的内情，只在Von Meck家族内流传。他们同时也是受害者，因为他们在死前未能解开所有误会。Von Meck的财政状况比她向外发表的还要差：她的女婿Shirinsky勒索她，威胁要公开他妻子Milochka父亲另有其人的秘密；儿子Vladimir过度挥霍，要求母亲更多的资助。Von Meck的病情益发严重，她她染上了结核病，而病毒已经感染到了她的喉头。在柴过身三个月内，她亦因窒息而去世。

另外一个使误会不能解开的原因是Von Meck的手臂萎缩，使她不能写信。

Continuing her relationship with Tchaikovsky as they both had, with all its extravagantly expressed terms, would have been extraordinarily awkward if she dictated her letters to a servant or relative. Tchaikovsky's biographer John Warrack maintains that von Meck knew her relationship with Tchaikovsky had to be altered, but she never intended to break it off totally. At von Meck's request, Vladimir Pakhulsky urged Tchaikovsky to write, assuring that von Meck's feelings had not really changed. Tchaikovsky, however, felt at a loss and was perhaps unwilling to make further attempts to maintain contact that might be met with more of what seemed to him silent rebuffs.

By the time his relationship with von Meck had ended, Tchaikovsky no longer really needed the annual allowance she had provided. Tchaikovsky had already achieved success throughout Europe and by 1891, even greater accolades in the United States. In fact, he was the conductor, on May 5th, 1891, at the official opening night of Carnegie Hall. With fame came financial independence, so money was not hardly as much of a concern as it had been at the beginning of his correspondence with von Meck.

As Warrack phrased it, "Her faith in him as an artist worthy of support was more important to him than the actual money ... It was, indeed, the fact that her interest in him seemed to go with the money she gave him that upset him most deeply, the more enduringly when he found that neither his willingness to start repaying the subsidy nor simply to continue the friendship apparently affected her decision. He could not even let her know how distressed and hurt he was, for even now he did not wish to hurt in return someone who had done so much for him, and who had once represented an ideal relationship to him."

One person who may have welcomed the break was Tchaikovsky's brother Modest. Like his brother, Modest was also homosexual, although he too married. When the two brothers discussed the break, Modest did not try to explain her behavior. He told the composer that, in his view, what had been to Tchaikovsky the unique and mutual relationship of two friends had been for von Meck the passing fancy of a wealthy woman.

This judgment on Modest's part might be accepted with a certain degree of doubt. For all his adulation for his brother, Modest's feelings were actually deeply ambivalent. Modest may have been intensely jealous of his brother's creative success and equally insecure about this secret friend being his closest rival for his brother's attention and affections. Just as Tchaikovsky's break with his wife Antonina might have brought joy to Nadezhda von Meck, so now the break with von Meck nay have brought joy to Modest.

Modest, who also became the composer's biographer, maintained that Tchaikovsky's bitterness at what he considered von Meck's betrayal remained unassuaged, and that on his deathbed, the composer constantly repeated von Meck's name, reproaching her. However, a very different story persisted within the von Meck family. Galina von Meck -- the daughter of von Meck's son Nikolay and Tchaikovsky's niece Anna Lvovna Davidova -- maintained that the rift was secretly healed. In September 1893, only weeks before his death, Tchaikovsky had approached Galina's mother, Anna. Anna was about to leave for Nice to help nurse her dying mother-in-law. Tchaikovsky asked her to beg his former friend for forgiveness for his own silence. This apology was reportedly accepted wholeheartedly by von Meck and reciprocated.

Another biographer, David Brown, maintains that Galina’s account “contains much hearsay and a good deal that is romantically heightened.” He concedes some plausibility in her account of this reconciliation, however, especially since Galina received the story directly from the intermediary, her mother.

When Brown interviewed Galina shortly before her death in 1985, she confirmed her grandmother had an "atrophied" arm which made writing nearly impossible in her last years. He also asked her about Modest's fundamental feeling toward his brother. Galina, who had known Modest well during the first 25 years of her life, answered in one word: "Jealousy."